I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Randomize
