just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
