If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
