I look better un-naked...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
