worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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