grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
