Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
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Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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