she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
