drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
