Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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