god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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