explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
