Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
