Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
