It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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