I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
