are you still at the devil's house?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
