The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
