This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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