What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize