hell yes lets make some ravioli
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
