dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
