At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
