U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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