im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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