she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
