OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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