i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
