Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
