I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize