i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
