If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
