ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
