I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We don't watch enough power rangers
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
