Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize