Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
