I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I did not marry a roomba.
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