kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
