Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
