don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I have aggressive nipples.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
