Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
