I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
