I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize