just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
