A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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