i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
