how can u be prego again
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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