im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
