my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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