So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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