She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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