he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize