Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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