In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
false alarm, still single
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