I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize