U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
worst night to have a conscience
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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