Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
