is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
