): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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