awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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